


There's a Flea in the Art Cupboard

by Ribbonlette



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: AU - Izaya is short, Alternate Universe - College/University, Canon-Typical Violence, Flirting, Izaya is fucking tiny okay, M/M, Tho not a whole lot, and this has little to no plot, it's mostly just izaya flirting dumbly, like significantly shorter than Shizuo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 06:16:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4468400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ribbonlette/pseuds/Ribbonlette
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shizuo was just trying to get some charcoal for art class but instead an annoying flea fell out of the cupboard. A really attractive flea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's a Flea in the Art Cupboard

**Author's Note:**

> Finally got moved and managed to finish something!! Yay!!
> 
> So here we go! Something pointless and mostly plotless, but funny imo. College AUs are my favorite, and I hope to write more eventually. Maybe I'll use this as a base... maybe.
> 
> But anyway! Enjoy!! Comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!!

College art classes are some of the strangest classes Shizuo has ever taken.

It's not really so much the content that makes them weird however as it is the people. Artsy people tend to be a bit strange and if Shizuo has learned anything in this class it's to expect the unexpected and not rule out the seemingly impossible.

There is quite a bit of paint splatters on the ceiling after all and this is the figure drawing room. They only ever use pencils and charcoal in here.

And yet somehow... somehow this situation still seems to have surprised him. Perhaps Shizuo's guard just wasn't up as much as usual. Perhaps it's because he's never seen this person in figure drawing class. Or perhaps he really should have gotten that extra shot of espresso in his coffee this morning after pulling an all nighter. Who knows?

But whatever the reason, Shizuo is surprised when he opens up the cupboard to get out some extra charcoal and instead of art supplies he finds a person. A squished, frazzled, startled looking person. A person who very quickly hisses at him to "Keep quiet! I'm hiding, you protozoan!"

Now, Shizuo has never had much patience. He is fairly quick to snap and being insulted by some cupboard person would typically have him throwing things around the room in seconds. But currently Shizuo is just too confused and focused on trying to figure out how this person got into such a high cupboard when they are clearly so tiny as to be able to fit in said cupboard without looking extremely cramped. He doesn't even take up the whole bottom shelf.

So when he finally responds, it's as if the cupboard person never talked at all.

"...How the fuck did you even get up there?"

The cupboard person just stares at Shizuo in shock for a moment. In this moment Shizuo takes the time to catalogue as much of this person's appearance as he can distinguish, which is for the most part his face. He has short black hair that looks a bit uneven, as if he cut it himself. His features are small and delicate, fairly feminine and just overall pretty. Even Shizuo can admit that he's attractive.

The most striking thing about this cupboard person however is his eyes. They are a shade Shizuo has never seen before; blood red and glowing with a nerve wracking mischief. Shizuo is fairly certain that is the same glint he's seen in the eyes of alley cats about to start a fight. That description ends up being surprisingly accurate when the cupboard person practically hisses at him.

"Did you not just hear what I said?! You really must be an idiot! I'm trying to hide, dumbass, so just keep quiet and close the door!" One hand reaches out to try and smack Shizuo's out of the way so the door can be closed. Shizuo isn't so fond of that tone however. He captures the cupboard person's wrist, practically snarling.

"Hey. Don't be so fucking rude, jackass. I asked you a goddamn question. You could at least have the courtesy to explain what the fuck you are doing in my art class cupboard! I've never seen you in class before, so I'm a bit confused." Although Shizuo's tone started filled with menace, that soon was overpowered by confusion. Shizuo just can't seem to wrap his head around the fact that there is a person in the cupboard.

The pretty cupboard man lets out an exasperated sigh. "Uugh fine. I'm hiding from an ex. He's a substitute for the class I normally have at this time and I almost ran into him in the hall." A slight pink tinges the scowling face in the cupboard. "I may or may not have panicked, alright? But I'm not getting sucked back into Shiki's ridiculousness again."

 _...His ex is a he, huh...?_ Somehow, this doesn't come as surprising. Then again, Shizuo was never one to give much thought to sexuality so it doesn't really mean all that much to him.

"That's... strange."

"...What is strange? The fact that I dated a guy? Oh fucking really? I would have thought that art students would be more openmi-"

"No, not that! Shut the fuck up for like, five seconds, would you?" The next exasperated sigh comes from Shizuo. It's getting harder and harder to keep his cool with this incessantly babbling flea of a man. "I mean, it's strange that you jammed yourself in a cupboard for something so... normal. I mean, you just kind of looked like... I don't know. As if you'd be hiding from something stranger than your ex."

The man blinks at Shizuo for a moment in disbelief. Then he bursts into loud laughter, nearly falling with the force of it. Shizuo is terribly confused by this course of action. What the hell is so funny?

Finally the strange flea calms down. "You expected something stranger, huh? Hahaha... Well, I suppose typically it would be stranger. You happened to catch me on one of my "normal" days, I guess."

The ironic amusement in his eyes and tone hints at something that makes Shizuo strangely nervous. If this is a "normal" day for this man, then what would a "typical" day look like? Shizuo doesn't spend much time worrying about it however. It doesn't much matter. What matters is that the next class starts in 15 minutes and people are going to start getting here at any moment. There can't still be some random person shoved in the cupboard when that happens.

"Okay... well, anyway. You need to get out. People are going to be here at any time now." Shizuo tugs a bit at the man's arm, scowling. Something about this person interests him but at the same time he just wants to punch him in the face. It's a rather frustrating feeling, to be perfectly honest, and not a very reasonable one. He hasn't even done anything to warrant being punched yet.

"Uh... how about no?" Shizuo's eye twitches. If the annoying man in the cupboard notices, he certainly doesn't care. "I have no idea where Shiki is, I'm not risking getting caught. I'll just stay up here until the end of this class. I should be safe by then."

"What? No fucking way! You'll be caught!" Okay, maybe this man is as strange as he thought. Honestly, what kind of plan even is that?

"No I won't. You're a student in this class, aren't you? Just do me a favor and make sure you're the only one who gets things out of this cupboard. See, problem solved!" A wide, self satisfied grin punctuates that plan, proving to Shizuo that this man really must be off his head.

"Fuck no!" Shizuo can feel himself getting more and more frustrated by the moment. He's barely thinking as he reaches out and captures that thin wrist again. "I said get out, you fucking parasite! You're not going to drag me into some stupid scheme just to avoid your ex! There are other places you can hide, so just get out!" With that, Shizuo makes the second mistake of today, the first being that he just didn't drink enough coffee to deal with this.

He pulls on the man's wrist.

With a yelp the strange cupboard person is tumbling out of said cupboard. Shizuo manages to react just in time to reach his arms out and get smacked in the face by the flea's arm. They both go tumbling to the floor in a heap of flailing limbs and curses.

Luckily for the man in the cupboard, he has Shizuo to land on. Unluckily for Shizuo, he gets to be this man's cushion. At least he's fairly small and light.

Groans echo through the room as Shizuo shoves the man off him. He rolls over and suddenly groans are turning into laughter and Shizuo is once again utterly confused.

"What the fuck is so funny?!"

"I just- I can't believe you are so stupid! What in the world would possess you to pull me out like that! It's just too funny!"

The laughter is quickly turned back into groans when Shizuo delivers a swift punch to the man's arm.

Shizuo sits up then, rubbing the back of his head and snarling. Well, so far this entire interaction has just been one big pain in the ass. This strange cupboard flea is proving to be irritating as fuck and Shizuo honestly isn't sure how much longer he can go without throwing things across the room. That's when said flea decides he's going to become even more annoying.

"You're kind of ridiculously strong, aren't you?" His head is cocked to the side and it would be cute except Shizuo has decided that this man is extremely annoying and so he can't think of him as cute ever.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Shizuo snaps. Although this strange person is correct with that deduction, Shizuo doesn't understand how he would have come to that conclusion so quickly and without Shizuo throwing anything.

"Well, there was barely any effort behind what you just did." The man pushes himself up, brushing off his pants. There is an amused smirk on his face and Shizuo wants to punch it. With his mouth. Wait, what? Oh, he's talking still. "But despite how little effort there was in it, the force was enough to not only tug me out but with enough movement to bowl you over as well. That means that your strength is unnatural. Obviously."

Although this is an accurate description, Shizuo doesn't like that tone or the big words and technical way of explaining it. So rather than agreeing he just growls in annoyance. His strength is a bit of a sore spot, after all.

"Why don't you just mind your business. God, you're annoying as fuck." Shizuo pushes himself up. He's most definitely done talking to this guy. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to be done with Shizuo as a hand is suddenly thrust in his direction.

"Orihara Izaya." Those red eyes are boring expectantly into Shizuo's and for a moment all Shizuo can do is stare back. For a moment, Shizuo is distracted by just how short this man is compared to him. All of his features are tiny and he must be at least a foot shorter than Shizuo, is not a bit more. And yet... The confidence and self importance coming off of this man in waves is nearly overwhelming yet somehow it draws you in. Shizuo is torn between knocking that hand away in annoyance with this irritating person and taking it, trying to prove that he is worthy of it.

It's an odd experience, to say the least.

"....Heiwajima. Shizuo." Hesitantly, Shizuo takes the man- Izaya's hand. He's sure to give a firm shake before quickly pulling his hand back. Despite how tiny Izaya's hand is compared to Shizuo's, for once Shizuo didn't feel like he might break said hand. Izaya's power was clear and it's strangely nerve wracking. 

"Heiwajima, huh?" Izaya's eyes are dancing with that mischievous light again, as if he just figured out a complicated equation and now knows exactly how to hack into the government's computers and steal all their secrets. Or something equally difficult and despicable. Izaya's eyes scan him up and down, taking in every inch.

"....Wow. I'd heard there was a monster named Heiwajima in the art department but I didn't expect him to be so attractive."

For a moment, the room is silent and still. This comment is so far out of the blue that Shizuo doesn't even know how to react. He can't comprehend that this person who Shizuo had already subconsciously deemed as out of his league, would even bother to look long enough to deem him attractive.

Not that Shizuo didn't know he was attractive. He had been courted by girls since high school and if it hadn't been for his temper and strength he may have even dated some. He knew he wasn't unattractive. But he also knew that his clothes were a bit shabby with overuse and his roots are showing brown instead of blond and his shoes are held together by duct tape. Orihara Izaya on the other hand clearly has money and though his current outfit is a simple black shirt, jeans with ripped knees, and converse, Shizuo can tell it's expensive. 

All of this hardly matters however because the word 'monster' was in that sentence and Shizuo is pissed. In a flash Shizuo's fist is aimed at Izaya's head with the force of a moving vehicle. And just as quickly Izaya is gone, spinning out of range with that beautifully irritating - or is it irritatingly beautiful? - laughter.

"Ah ah ah! It's not very nice to try and punch someone you just met~!" Izaya's voice is far too cheerful as he shifts side to side. He's watching Shizuo in amusement, the most frustrating smirk on his face. As if he knows all the world's secrets but isn't going to tell you. Like you're just so far beneath him.

Shizuo falters. No one has ever been fast enough to dodge him like that before. The lack of contact is certainly a new experience. But then, everything with this frustrating man seems to be.

Shizuo has been awake too long for this.

With a frustrated growl Shizuo grabs the nearest piece of furniture (a small easel) and hurls it at Izaya. The easel is dodged with a grace Shizuo wouldn't have imagined coming from the guy that just fell out of a cupboard and on top of him, and with a flourish and a flash of steel there is a blade pressed to Shizuo's neck. Izaya smiles with cruel amusement as Shizuo blinks down at him in surprise.

"Honestly, Shizu-chan. You really should work on the temper of yours."

_...Shizu-chan?_

"Who the fuck do you think you-!"

Something covering Shizuo's mouth cuts him off and then Izaya is spinning away, small switchblade shoved back in his pocket.

"You're very fun to play with, Shizu-chan. See you soon~!"

And just like that he's gone. Shizuo stands in the middle of the art room, blinking in surprise.

It takes five minutes for him to realize that what cut him off was Izaya kissing him.

It's only another five seconds before his face turns bright red and he's racing out of the classroom to try and find the annoyingly attractive flea that just made him see red.

Whether to punch him or attempt to ask him out, Shizuo really isn't sure.

"IIIIZAAAAYAAAAA!!"


End file.
